P.S. I Love You

I know, I know, today's post was insanely long. Even for me. But I promised myself [or "whyself" or whatever the heck you wanna call this bologna] that I'd write a blog post every.single.day. And that if/when I miss days, I'll make up for it the next day. So the SuperLong post was to make up for Easter [you're lucky I didn't go all meaning- & history-of-Easter research-crazy on your booty-hinds like I was thinking about doing], and this is kinda a follow-up to that. Because in looking up the lyrics I got a bit carried away. Classic, I know.

If you recall from this morning's blog post, I wrote some thangz about a good 'ole Bob Dylan song called "Eternal Circle" [I tried to embed, but I think I forgot how to use the internet the moment someone in real life mentioned reading my blog] [Yeah, that happened this weekend. NBD.] And then I proceeded to write a handful of silly things about the lyrics page that confirmed I was - in fact - singing the wrong words all along ... and tangential topics and opinions that give my audience a flash [the kind that blinds you] [don't worry, though, doesn't kill you. You're too strong to let a flash like that kill you. Keep going!] into the mind I am stuck taming every.single.second.of.my.life.

ETERNAL CIRCLE Part Deux :: 

[Why doesn't my Blogger.com template have an epic- and french-cartoon-looking font available for this subtitle?! UGH.] [Do I reference the infamous "#FirstWorldProblems" that I'm probably typing in wrong, or the similarly witty "#WhitePeopleProblems" SNL skit led by the surprisingly hilarious Charles Barkley a few months ago?]

  

If you're not familiar w the lyrics, here's a site that has 'em.  This site also happens to seem obsessed with people LIKING and TALKING about them on Facebook, although their lack of attempted social audience engagements might imply otherwise. 

While I'm here - I didn't know the FB was calculating "talkin'-'bouts" now. How does this Clock-o-Lyrics or whatever it's called know that over 2,500 Facebookaholics were "talking about this"? Is there a hash-tag-esque metric for this alleged 'talking'? 

More importantly, shouldn't at least one of these social media sites capitalize on world-wide ear ringing superstition we all had a busy-bodied-overweight-'family-friend' tell us at some point and come up with some sweet ear-bell-combo of a logo and catchy slogan to replace and/or combine creative forces with the word cloud / hash tag / "talking about this" / and-so-on... ?? 

Or is that a bad idea because ...

A! 

Dear hipsters, 

Why do you think EAR ART is a good idea for your college major considering not even Vinnie van G himself could make an ear sexy? Then again, this Van Gogh's Ear Cafe seems to be doing alright. [I will try your Chocolate Cherry Latte in time, my pet, in time.] [This isn't the first time I've cited Wikipedia, and it won't be the last.] [Remember when Jimmy Wales made you listen to him ask for money every time you tried to look up fun facts on Wikipedia that you'd casually mention in G-Chats with that bro you were trying to impress with your mad world knowledge?] [8th Grade English, please slap me in the face.]

Love,

Sam 

Sorry if I offended you, hipsters. If it means anything to ya, I look damn good in hipster glasses [even Mrs. Clause-dressed babies agree.] ... I feel the pain of trees that you you feel the pain of a sucker punch to the jaw ... and I occasionally dress up like a Tetris piece with friends to stand in front of Pinnochio statues, whom we imagine to be exclaiming, "I'm a real boy, Geppettto! A real boy!" ...

I also love flannel. And Portlandia.

B!
Too many meanings for the ear-ringing phenomenon, and no social media site [not even the $100-billion+ of Facebook] can afford to deal with law suits like this:

• Doctor Joe Superstitiouschmo, PhBS v. Mister Facebook: Dr. Superstitiouschmo (P) brought this lawsuit alleging that the algorithmic approach that the Mr. Facebook (D) used to apply its trademarked RingingBellInsideYourEar logo on the plaintiff's Facebook Timeline caused the plaintiff $1MM worth of therapy due to the concern of imminent death of a friend of family member aforementioned trademarked logo implied.
• Ms. Susiesticious Needzuhman v. Mister Facebook:  Ms. Needzuhman (P) brought this lawsuit alleging that the appearance of the one Mr. Facebook (D)'s RingingBellInsideYourEar[TM] logo on the plaintiff's Facebook wall [hypothetical future lawsuit falls in the past. I know, tough to keep up. Law School's not for everyone, chief.] inspired the plaintiff to spend 85% of her annual salary on dating websites and singles ads. This is money historical records show the plaintiff would have spent on her cats, had Mr. Facebook not flaunted its new RingingBellInsideYourEar[TM] logo onto Ms. Needzuhman's wall, thereby convincing the plaintiff that her future spouse was - beyond the shadow of a doubt - to have a first name that begins with the very letter Ms. Needzuhman's friend - Inya Centbistanderd - selected at random while her ear was ringing! 

OBJECTION, YOUR HONOR....!

[These fake law suits and partial lawyer speeches will make little to no sense to if you aren't aware of the ear-ringing-related superstitious, Chinese Omens and what-not that are out there. OR if you happen to actually know one or two things about lawyerin'. OR if you made it past the 4th Grade in School.]

P.S.

How is the SarcMark still not huge? Seriously?